How To Be Successful In Life – Being Realistic
Have You Ever Wondered Exactly Where You Failed?
…Well – have you? …. Then don’t; wonder no more. You should never consider yourself to have failed. You haven’t failed until you’ve given up trying and you should always keep trying as long as you live. If you’re still trying, you’ve still got the chance to succeed.
But let’s have a look at why you think you’ve failed. You probably don’t feel happy. You’re thinking of how much better your life could be. You’ve got something else you want to do.
Have you got a clear idea of what you mean by success?
If you don’t know what you want, you can’t say when you’ve got it and that way you’ll always be searching for happiness that eludes you. So decide what it is you want to achieve. That can be giving up a harmful habit, earning more money, buying a sports car – whatever. It doesn’t matter what it is so long as you want it.
OK – so now you know what you want. Now you’re clear on that you can start planning to get that success.
Is your idea of success actually realistic?
For instance, if your idea of being successful is to be a prima ballerina but you’re forty, overweight and have never had a dancing lesson in your life, you’re probably setting your sights a little too high. Just set your sights a little lower, knowing you can achieve your goal. You’ll be happier in the long run.
So now you’ve re-assessed and you know you can achieve what you want to achieve. If you’ve decided your goals are realistic, you’ve already got some idea of how you’re going to set about achieving those goals.
Have you thought about the step-by-step ways to achieve those goals you want?
You may need to improve on a skill you have. You may need to get a bank loan. You may need to talk with other people about resolving issues with them that are making you unhappy. Once you know what the steps to success are, you can plan them and take them gradually.
Now you know what you want and you’ve got some practical ideas about how to go about getting it – are you in a position to take those steps right now?
Have you picked the right time to strive for those goals?
Going on a diet right before Christmas is almost doomed from the start. You have to be physically and emotionally in a good state to make sensible decisions and to be able to act upon them in order to make success happen.
Now you know what you want, you know you can do it and you’ve even got some ideas about how to start making your dreams of success a reality and you know there’ll never be a better time than right now to make that happen. Go for it!
No? Why not?
What’s preventing you carrying out your step-by-step plan to achieve what you think of as success?
Make a list of issues you need to resolve. Chat with a friend or partner you trust and together, think of ways to get round these issues. The ways are there. You maybe just can’t see them yet.
You’ve tried it – and things didn’t go according to plan
That’s not failure. That’s life. Life’s a wonderful and varied thing, but you get the odd curve ball thrown in there at times. Carol James Turning Failure into Success (2001) has it right when she says you should view failure as a ‘detour’. Only *you* have decided the path your life should take, so what’s the big problem about tackling things in a different way?
If your regular route to work or to the shops was blocked by road works or a traffic accident, would you panic? No – of course you wouldn’t. You’d take another road. You may even see things you didn’t expect to see that way to.
That’s how it is with success too. There’s no one definition of success and there’s not just one-way to get it. You may just find that how things turn out makes you happier than if things had gone the way you planned initially, so embrace that change and adapt to it.
If all that’s preventing you from grabbing the success you can see and practically touch is fear things won’t go as you planned again – ask yourself these questions:
- Am I happy now?
- Do I really want that thing I dreamed of?
- What’s the worst thing that can happen if I don’t get what I want in a reasonable amount of time?
- Will I look back on this in five years time and wish I’d had the guts to go for my dream?
The answers to those questions should tell you what success means to you. It should help you see you haven’t failed and that you have a whole lifetime ahead of you now to achieve what you want. Don’t think of having failed; think of what you still want to achieve and how you’re going to achieve it. Having thought through these questions, you’re in a much better position to achieve success.
To your success
Andy Shaw – A Bug Free Mind