How To Be Successful In Life – Don’t Give In To FEAR
Fear Doesn’t Have To Hold You Back
There’s more than a bit of truth in the old saying: ‘All you have to fear is fear itself’. The nearer you get to having achieved your dreams and ambitions, the more likely you are to fear it. Fear isn’t nice. It makes you feel uncomfortable and jumpy; it makes your heart race; it makes you sweat; fear may even prevent you sleeping at night. Doubts will creep in the closer you are to achieving your ambition or embarking upon a new venture. Fear of the unknown is one of the strongest fears.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Try to think what it is you are afraid of
You may be embarrassed about your fears. You may not want to admit to them. But think about it – aren’t you afraid to voice your fears because you’re afraid that people will laugh at you?
If so, then isn’t that telling you something? Your fear may well be irrational, and in order for your fear not to hold you back, you have to rationalize the irrational. Once you can say what your fear is – even if it’s only to yourself – it becomes less frightening. It takes a shape you can begin to understand. If you can understand something, you can deal with it much better.
That’s because you can start to see whether it’s really something to be scared of and you can begin to deal with it appropriately. Is your worst fear likely to come true? What’s the worst thing that could happen to you if it did? Thinking through these things will help you plan to overcome your fears and stop them holding you back from doing whatever it is you want to do.
Where did the fear come from?
Thinking of the origin of the fear might be the first step in overcoming it, especially if your fear is a phobia or a fear of an everyday object. Some people are afraid of cotton wool, you know. Think that’s silly? Well think again – is YOUR fear any more rational? Is the thing you fear most any more likely to hurt you than cotton wool is?
Fears are real only because we make them real – unless of course a knife-wielding maniac or some such external threat confronts you. But even in these more extreme circumstances, fear can hold you back and stop you succeeding – as in this case, escaping unharmed. Don’t let fear paralyze you.
Fears seem like they invade your thoughts from nowhere, but they don’t. They’re encouraged by something you’ve seen or something you’ve heard and failed to process rationally. Thinking through the thing that scares you will often neutralize the fear, or lessen it, at least – especially if you plan a way of combating your fear.
Are you aware of what typically stops you moving on with your dreams and goals?
Let’s think through some commonplace fears that may hold you back from following your hopes and dreams.
I’m Lacking Something “
Well, aren’t we all? ‘No man is an island’ said John Donne (Meditations XVII, 1572-1631). That sounds about right. Nobody said you had to do this all alone. Whatever it is you want to do – be it a dream career move; a charity skydive; starting an orphanage abroad …whatever – there will be people there to help you if only you’ll accept their help.
Surround yourself with a strong support mechanism of people whose advice you trust and whom you find it easy to talk to – then talk to them! Share your problems and worries and often you’ll find they’ve experienced those things themselves, or they can at least see it from another perspective and they can offer some helpful suggestions that may not have occurred to you. It’s difficult when you’re in the midst of a situation and feeling afraid, to actually see a way out, sometimes.
‘I’m Afraid I Will Fail’
You haven’t failed until you’ve given up trying. There’s always another day to get things done or to improve on what you did today – right up until you die: and then it probably won’t worry you so much that there are no days left!
If you’re finding something difficult, you probably aren’t the first person in the world to have attempted it – so watch and learn from others who have tackled this before you. Never to be too proud to ask for help or to learn from other people.
Oh – and if you ARE the first person in the world to have tackled that certain something – good on you! Just go for it, assured in the knowledge that no-one else will have seen this before – or know how to do it….so no-one will ever be able to tell you you’re wrong!
‘I Might Succeed’
Oooh – yes. You might. Wouldn’t that be good?
Actually, success is sometimes one of the most frightening things. Because what if you succeed, get what you want – then you don’t like it? It isn’t what you imagined at all. You don’t want to do this for the rest of your life…well then don’t. You’ve changed your life once before, you can do it again – and it gets easier after the first time.
You are the only one who can map out your life’s path for yourself. If the path deviates, backtracks and meanders – so what? Life’s not a time trial. It’s not the destination, which is important, but the journey. There’ll be many trials along the way, but you’ll be compensated for all those bends in the road by all the wonderful stopping off places you’ll find – some you could never have imagined. Just think what you’ll be missing if you let fear hold you back.
To your success
Andy Shaw – A Bug Free Mind