How To Be Successful In Life – In Search of Happiness
Relationships Can Make You Happy, If You Know How
*You* need to be happy, in order to have a happy relationship. Happiness, if it is the enduring, last kind, comes from within. Don’t look for it from external sources or other people. Relationships only intensify whatever you already feel about yourself and your life. A happy person entering into a relationship is likely to become even happier. However, happiness can be intensified by a great relationship.
Intensifying your happiness in a relationship, and thus making yourself happier takes some effort on your part too. Don’t sit back and wait for someone else to make you happy – it just won’t happen, except maybe for a fleeting moment.
Intensifying your happiness through a good relationship is a two way street. Both partners have to invest time and energy into making a relationship good – or great.
At the heart of all really fantastic relationships are three principles:
So how do these three underlying principles of great relationships increase your happiness?
This is where the hopes and aspirations of your partner are just as important to you as are your own. You listen to your partner and share their ideas and feelings. They in turn will do this for you. Of course, that feels good! Your opinions and ideas will be respected because you will respect those of your partner.
You need never be afraid to voice your innermost hopes and fears to them because your partner will not laugh and they will not think you are silly or wrong for feeling this way. That’s because you too will be giving them respect for their feelings and ideas. You will treat each other as equals.
Modern society is often geared towards your own personal wish fulfillment. That can make you selfish and not a great partner to have. You will often hear that you are not responsible for your partner’s happiness and there is some truth in that, because only they can make themselves truly happy. But you *do* have a mutual responsibility within a relationship for the other person’s well being and safety, including their mental health.
Be aware that everything you do, say or think affects your partner. Make sure you use that power for the force of good and your partner will reward you by mirroring that happiness back to you. Also, it should make you happy because you can take pride in the fact that you were good to your partner or you helped and supported them in some way.
To find real love you have to be real. Be careful to not lose sight of who *you* are in order to please your partner. Long-term this is a strategy that is doomed to failure because you won’t be able to sustain it and any trying to be something you’re not will only make you unhappy.
So, you can see that ultimately *you* are the only one who can really make you happy, but a good relationship can intensify this happiness and keep reflecting it back to you, making you feel even happier. To do that, your relationship needs to be based on a firm foundation of mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity. These are the building blocks of love and there is no greater happiness than to know that you are loved.
To your success,
Andy Shaw – A Bug Free Mind